If you were working at the office before working at home or telecommuting, you may have made an effort to leave the stress at work. That can be much more difficult when the trip from “office” to home is a matter of opening a door or walking up a few stairs. Even those of us who are work at home parents, who might think they are leaving that stress at the office, kids know better. Whether we realize it or not, our job-related stress affects our spouses and more importantly, our children.

Over the past 30 years, time spent working at the office has jumped 10 hours a week. This applies to work from home moms and dads as well. Also, one in three employees in the United States reports feeling chronically overworked. Our jobs have become more hectic and demanding, especially when we are the boss and have to lead ourselves. We all tend to feel like we never have enough time to get everything done and this can hit hardest when we feel like what we don’t have enough time for is spending quality time with our kids.

Even if we close the door, turn off the lights, walk up the stairs or whatever physical things we may do to end our work at home day, we definitely carry the day with us into the time we spend with our family. Even if you’re cooking dinner for your family or helping your kids with their homework but still thinking about what you need to do for work the next day, or a difficult client are you not still working?

In a study done with 600 parents and 1,000 children ranging from 3rd to 12th grade, the parents were asked what they thought their kids would want to change about the mom or dad’s work. More than half the parents guessed that their kids would want to change the amount of time their parents spent with them. Those parents would be wrong. A majority of the children in that This included one child who clearly stated that less stress from parents would mean less stress for the kids, too.

Children are very smart and in sync with what is going on in their environment. Kids will listen in on conversations at the top of stairs, listen in on phone calls or at closed doors. They also pick up on very subtle physical clues from parents such as frowns on faces, furrowed brows and heavy sighs and footsteps around the house.

Quality time at home, away from the home office, can make a big difference. Take a bubble bath or even a short cat nap between end of work day and family time to unwind or even talk to your kids if they are old enough and let them know you had a bad day. Not only does this prepare them and help them understand, it can be a great way to get them to open up about their days too. Whatever you do to unwind, make sure that you stress the fact that your bad day and the resulting bad mood have nothing to do with them.

Ask yourself these questions from the Mayo Clinic to see if you are experiencing extreme stress or burnout.

• Do you find yourself being more cynical, critical and sarcastic at work?
• Have you lost the ability to experience joy?
• Do you drag yourself into work and have trouble getting started once you arrive?
• Have you become more irritable and less patient with co-workers, customers or clients
• Do you feel that you face insurmountable barriers at work?
• Do you feel that you lack the energy to be consistently productive?
• Do you no longer feel satisfaction from your achievements?
• Do you have a hard time laughing at yourself?
• Are you tired of your co-workers asking if you're OK?
• Do you feel disillusioned about your job?
• Are you self-medicating—using food, drugs or alcohol—to feel better or to simply not feel?
• Have your sleep habits or appetite changed?
• Are you troubled by headaches, neck pain or lower back pain?

If you answered yes to many or most of these questions, talk to you doctor or family about helping you to de-stress your life.